Your probably asking yourself when has she ever been normal and your right not alot of you have seen the normal side of me, when I haven’t been sick…LOL…
When I decided to do this blog I promised myself and to my readers that I would always be truthful to you..And trust me it’s hard to put yourself into the public eye, something I never thought I would do in my lifetime..That was my old job when I did work was how to help those who wanted to be in the public eye deal with fame and criticism…It again was never suppose to be me, but since I have put myself out there I will let you know what I have been dealing with lately…
For the past couple of weeks my husband and I have been thinking about having a child…And if you knew me before this was something that I never wanted, my career was my child…My husband and I always thought that we were going to be urban yuppies for the rest of our lives, that somehow children never were going to be an equation in our daily lives…But guess what, I got sick and had to stop working and I found along that journey that I wanted to have a child and that maybe people with kids had it all…It wasn’t the money or prestige that we came to realize that we wanted…That old adage is true “money isn’t everything”…
So last week I went to see my Gyno. and she is one of the best here in Nashville…The funniest thing is that she has massage chairs and a masseuse that comes in to relax you before anything gets done…I know that is freaking awesome…Totally off subject, but I had to share since it’s such a great marketing tool…Anyway, I had this discussion with her and well she said that she doesn’t advice me to have kids since I’m to ill to have any…With all that I have been through and how tough it is with me absorbing any type of nutrients she said flat out that if I had a child it would probably kill us both…Now do I take what she has to say and say I won’t do it or do I try anyway…This has been a painful decision that I still don’t know what to think of, but I wanted to be honest with my readers and explain why I haven’t been around much lately…
This isn’t a post to feel sorry for me at all, that is never my intentions when I write a post, it’s to inform you of the struggles that I go through with my Weight loss Surgery…
Thank you for all of your support and love…Promise to return to my normal regular post soon…
Berrigirl
Thank you for posting this. Seriously, thank you. I’ve been trying to point this out to others for years and either I get the “eyes rolling to the back of the head” or the “yea, hannie, you’re SO FULL OF IT”. Unfortunately, if you think about it, having a RNY procedure done…the main idea…is that you are physically restricted from eating more than you should & you’re malabsorbing what you’re eating. The malabsorption causes the dumping that makes you have to be accountable and responsible for every bite you eat. With saying that, all of us have heard the “when you’re pregnant, you’re eating for two”. Now how can you eat for two if one, you literally cannot because your digestive system has been permanently altered to eat for less than one? Two, how can you eat for two if you’re already malabsorbing the nutrients necessary for YOU to exist and are already taking vitamins/supplements and can easily bottom out the scale of proper nutrient values? Crap, here comes three. With my saying the first two, could you honestly feel good about carrying a baby to term and risking that baby’s health? That last question hurts more than you know, because I’ve sat in infertility clinics listening to the struggles that women face in trying to conceive in the first place and how they tried to wade through years of red tape in adopting a child. I’ve sat at countless support group (bariatric) meetings where women straight out state that they had surgery so that they could lose the weight and hopefully conceive and have a baby. I am incredibly blessed to have two babies of my own, before surgery and they’ve had to sit by my side through my own bariatric hell, for which I never ever intended them to do so. The pain of knowing/hearing/being told that no, you should not have a baby because it would not only harm the baby but leave yourself in bad shape as well is devastating, at the very least. Reading and hearing about those post operatively who are carrying/having children, I pray that they both come out super well and super healthy.
I’m sorry for your dashed dream… I never wanted children either, yet when the gyn said I needed a hysterectomy and that having kids would be difficult, I was disappointed. I still do not want children, but just having the possibility or choice stripped away FROM me… it hurt. I would rather it be my choice, and not someone else’s whether it by a doctor or good ole Mother Nature! Hopefully there will be lots of other options for you, and if not… I’m sure some dear friends would let you borrow their infant! LOL… Just teasin… Have a wonderful day, friend!
Thinking about you…