Do I need to have a plate of food when I’m working out? OK are you asking yourself if I have finally snapped…Maybe, but haven’t we all at some point…:) Why I’m bringing this up is because last night I was walking on my treadmill like I do almost every night and well I passed out and my sugar was 66…No I didn’t hurt the treadmill thank goodness, hubby doesn’t need that expense of getting me a new one…I have never had this happen to me before and don’t know if I like it either…I have been having rough days lately and that is why I haven’t been around much but is this something new or is it just because I have this lingering illness that is going on with me?

Either way I hope it clears up before I go on my trip this weekend…I don’t want to have to deal with something else…

Berrigirl

I made it out of my Colonoscopy and Upper GI yesterday and I didn’t wake up…YAY! But let me tell you I had a little breakdown during everything…I guess I should feel in the blanks on what happened yesterday…

I had to arrive at the hospital before 7 a.m. and well since my doctor is the chief of medical staff he had to run a meeting, so I had to wait until 8:30 a.m. so my nerves that I thought where under control wasn’t…They got the Anesthesiologist to come in to find a vein, well good luck with that since I hadn’t had anything to drink in over 8 hours so you could say I was a little dehydrated…Well it took him 3 sticks and that is when my breakdown accrued…I just kept thinking that this was going to be like last time and how I woke up during the procedure of the Upper GI and I’m in the same room as last time and all…So why he is poking and prodding me to find a vein, I’m crying hysterically…And my poor husband is trying to rub my head and the nurse is squeezing my hand…This isn’t helping me at the moment, I just wanted to runaway with my backless gown and never look back…Now how pathetic am I, seriously..Finally he hit a vein and they rolled me in to do the procedures and they promised me that they would knock me out good and well it was a success…I don’t recall one thing that they did, but they did remove a piece out of my new Gastric Bypass stomach which I don’t understand why…I know things are going on with me, but they didn’t tell me what they were testing for…On my discharge it says normal Upper GI except bypass…Now the Doctor told my husband that the surgery part still looked good…So if anyone can explain what they think that is, I would sure appreciate it…I go back in a week to see what they found out and will keep everyone posted…

I apologize for not being around much but what I have been going through has put me in a funk and I need to get out of it…And it seems like there is always something and I don’t like that…I want to share my experiences but it’s tiring as well to tell the bad more then good…So believe me when I say this, I don’t like telling you nothing but the negative but this is my life and I have to be honest with my readers…I can’t say I’m having a great day when I’m not, it’s not me to deceive anyone…I appreciate each and everyone of you who have been so kind to offer support and just being there…

Berrigirl

Wanted to wish everyone a safe and Happy Holiday…It’s going to be a crazy weekend around here and hopefully I will be around Twitter or Facebook, but I believe my hubby has plans for me…So if I’m not I will be back next week, don’t worry I haven’t left…All of my readers keep me coming back and encouraging me to tell my story, Thank You for that I appreciate it…

Have a Great Weekend…

Berrigirl

How long did you take off for work when you had your surgery?

Well to be perfectly honest with you I never really thought of this question before until now…It might seem like a really easy answer to say, hey I took off the normal 2 wks but I didn’t…After a month off from work I quit my job and wanted to move to Nashville to fulfill my dream of working in the Music Business…Now mind you my husband had a stable job, but in my mind I wanted and needed more…So I basically told him that I was moving in Dec. 2004 and had enrolled at a Recording Engineer school that started in Feb. 2005 and hope that he would come with me…How selfish was I to risk everything to follow my dream, and didn’t even ask him if this was his dream as well…But I got very lucky when he agreed to come with me and said if this made me happy then he was all for it…Now again how lucky can one person be to have such a wonderful husband like I do, cause I know most men wouldn’t have done that…He has always put me first in our marriage and I didn’t realize at the time how I was trying to escape my old self and reinvent myself where no one knew who I was before and that was a former fat girl…I was finally free to be who I always wanted to be and I finally found her…Yes, I did get my dream job but if there is Karma it did come back and bite me when I got sick and couldn’t do it any longer…In the end though my husband got his dream job, so it wasn’t a total waste…

Berrigirl

My Hubby and I are planning on going this summer to Holiday World with some friends and I have to say that I’m nervous about this…Why you might ask, well it’s because the last time I rode on a ride I started coming out of my seat and the only thing keeping me in was the bar…Ok that is freaking scary, why don’t they have seat belts in these things…I never had a problem before with this obviously cause my weight kept me in…Which for some reason I never thought of before…DUH!

When I explained to my husband that I just wasn’t keen on the idea of getting on another ride in my lifetime he explained to me how he had to deal with this his whole life…He is a skinnier guy and one of the major reason he doesn’t like rides is just for the reason I told him about my fear, which is coming out of your seat…Nothing is going to catch you if you fly out…Now that was like a big smack on the head cause I use to make fun of him thinking he was just being a chicken but he actually had a legit reason why he didn’t want to…Now I so get it and now look who is being a chicken …So here is a public apology to my husband…I”M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME…Love ya

Berrigirl